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Maybe it’s therapeutic

opinion
Sep 22, 20202 mins
Computers and Peripherals

As for pilot fish, very little shocks them.

Computerworld  |  Shark Tank
Credit: Computerworld / IDG

This pilot fish is at a remote office to help a user, Barney, with a software problem, but he can’t help noticing that Barney periodically jumps in his chair. Fish finally asks Barney if he’s feeling OK, and Barney says he’s fine, but he periodically gets a mild shock from his desk.

It’s a mid-century steel-frame desk with a Formica top. This office has had some renovations, and fish wonders whether something was mis-wired. It’s not his area of responsibility as IT desktop support, but fish decides to just take a look.

Behind Barney’s desk he finds a large wire paperclip that had managed to contact the hot pole of a slightly loose plug in a power strip and the steel leg of the desk. As long as Barney’s contact was with the Formica desktop, nothing would happen, but when he brushed the steel trim around the edge, he’d get a shock.

How long has this been going on? fish asks Barney.

“A couple of months, since we rearranged the office.”

Fish removes the paperclip but just shakes his head as he wonders how Barney could deal with that so long without saying anything.

sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

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Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.